Obnoxious Bitch
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Owie, boo-boo belly!
Next time I’ll have someone drive me, just in case things go a little bit south like they did yesterday. I was given 250 mg of IV hydrocortisone before the Remicade, in hopes of avoiding the serum-sickness reaction, and it gave me an unbelievable stomach ache. First it was just a little heartburn but it grew into a burning from my throat all the way down, and pains in my intestines (not in the usual place where the Crohn’s is, but all through them) that remain even today.
The nurse gave me some Mylanta, which helped for about a minute. I went into the rest room at one point, and ended up getting really dizzy… so I put myself down on the floor before I fell down. I broke out in a sweat and when I came out Susan (the nurse) said I was very pale. I didn’t take any Benadryl in the morning, because I had to drive, so the itching got pretty bad too. My hands were the worst, and my palms were beet red. Ultimately Dr. C asked them to give me 25 mg of Benadryl, and to keep me there for a couple hours after the infusion ended. I took it, and promptly passed out, rocking back and forth on my side because my stomach hurt so bad. Once I came to, I walked around a little bit to wake up and then got the hell out of there as quickly as I could. Driving on the 405 freeway at 4:00 in the afternoon is no picnic, and I wanted to get home so I could ail in peace in my own house, in my comfy clothes that don’t squeeze my belly.
Even though I’ve still got gut pains from hell, I’ll go in to work today. It’s my turn to take the pager, and I feel bad that my colleagues have been having to take on my work so often lately. Intellectually, I know it’s not my fault that I’m sick and that medical leave exists so that people like me can have time to take care of themselves without worrying that they’ll be out of a job just because they’re ill; but I place so much value on my ability to do my job (or perhaps it’s just that going to work is how I get the paycheck that allows me to take care of my family) that it’s really difficult for me to admit when I’m not up to the task. I hate letting people down, and I REALLY hate it when my body betrays me and I get so sick that it’s just impossible to even fake my way through the work I have to do.
Today I’ll do my best to work through the pain, and just hope that it goes away soon. Maybe I’ll be lucky and it’ll end up being just some huge fart that needs to make its way out. 
Man, y’know you’re getting old when a fart’s something to look forward to!