Obnoxious Bitch

Monday, October 17, 2005

I Choke On Jesus… but it’s for charity!

Like every other parent in America, I do my part to raise funds for school groups and programs the Princess belongs to.  Wrapping paper, candy, restaurant nights, the whole shebang.  In these parent booster groups, it’s inevitable that there’s one or more exuberant follower of Christ who gives not a moment’s pause before going on a tirade about what’s “right” or what “shouldn’t be allowed.” By law, I’d presume… and according to “God’s Law,” of course.

It took every ounce of will I had not to get in this one lady’s face when she started ranting about how horrifying it was to go into Costco and have “one whole huge section of nothing but Harry Potter and all sorts of things relating to sorcery… it’s awful that they can sell that to kids!” Rather than goad her by asking just what the fuck you’d call turning water into wine; or walking on water, if not some sort of sorcery, I simply said, “It’s harmless fantasy… make-believe, y’know?” I restrained myself from adding like your God, and devils and demons.  But it was right on the tip of my tongue, I tell ya!

Why is it ok for HER to push her own myths and invisible magical beings without someone like me laughing in her face, or calling her a superstitious and delusional twit; yet beyond the bounds of social grace for ME to exercise MY right as an American and say I think HER fairy tales have every reason to be in the Wal-Mart, but NOT anywhere NEAR my kid’s school?  I don’t want my kid to have any repercussions due to my outspoken nature, and it’s so difficult within the context of the whole “booster” scenario that I’ll be really surprised if I make it through four years without being branded a heretic and ostracized.

I guess I just have to sell lots of candy, and wrapping paper, and ad space, and car washes, and rummage sales…

The irony of it all was that her hysterics and lamentations were delivered while wearing a perfectly satanic little smock covered in Hallowe’en ghosts and those Agents of Satan himself, black kitties.